Fear - What Are We Afraid Of?

We live in a society that is run by fear - the creation of fear and the response to fear.  The media creates fear in us by telling us we are in danger of losing our beauty, our safety, our lives, etc.  But, it is important to realize their motivation: money.  Plain and simple, it is a self motivated manipulation to encourage us to buy into their product which will save us, whether it be political, product or otherwise. This post could easily be all about debunking and recognizing the myths that control production and policy in the US, but I would rather focus on the effect fear has on our core. 

We are afraid to love.  We are afraid to love ourselves and we are afraid to love each other.  We are afraid to love each other because we are afraid to love ourselves.  When I had my 3 year old daughter, I read tons of articles on how to raise a secure and happy child.  Hands down, the theme was about creating security in children by simply being there.  The toddler should not be afraid to venture out on their own, because they know you will not abandon them.  We have proven to them we will always be there, so they are able to stray a bit and know you are there or will return to them.  Let's take that personally now.  Why are we afraid to venture out on our own - to take risks, and more importantly to love?  To answer that question, we have to look at ways we have shown ourselves that we will not be there when we return.  I believe this is about many things, one of which is dishonoring our core.  How many of us have beliefs that we do not honor with action?  That behavior creates distrust.  Ultimately, it creates disrespect and fear, even self-loathing.  We are approaching a time of year that, for most of us, begins with strong resolve and ends in disappointment.  We usually do not recognize the effects that making promises, only to fail, have on our psyche, self love, security, trust, respect and resolve.  It seems simple.  We make a resolution, it fades, we move on.  But, I believe it has lasting effects on our ability to trust ourselves, and ultimately, our ability to love ourselves.  The question, then, is raised: what about those of us who make such lofty resolutions, we are sure to fail?  Self sabotage - a confirmation that we are as we think we are.  We do this with ourselves, and we do this with others.  We bring people into our lives who will reject us and repeat the pattern of rejection in our lives, thus confirming our unworthiness of love.  Again, more importantly, we create situations in our psyche that confirm our unworthiness of self love.  It boils down to a sincere and real desire to love ourselves with the unconditional love we crave from others, and the wisdom and courage to recognize our motivation down to the very thought that sparked a resolution - the least common denominator.  Once that tiny goal is accomplished, we can move on. 

Dealing with rejection from others is as simple as being honest.  We must ask, with unfiltered honesty, why we choose to focus our attention on this person. Note: denial is a filter. Then, we can enjoy them.  We can allow them to know us. We can love freely.  We can let their stuff be theirs and realize if the interest is not reciprocated, it is their stuff that causes that reaction.  It does not qualify us or disqualify us.  Afterall, we are who were, honestly, without filters and pretense.  We can not change the way we look or who we are. The motivation to want to change verifies to them and ourselves that we are less than adequate.  In truth, it is the opinion of one person in a moment that controls our self esteem.  Imagine what that does to us each time we attempt to buy into the opinions of others, the thousands of others, that flow in and out of our lives by way of personal interaction and media. The pressure to meet those standards is disabling, and ultimately, it creates an intense disregard for ourselves and our well being.  Do you really want to subject yourself to that? Ask yourself honestly.  Be who you are.  Look how you look.  If you see the need for change, for growth, look at your motivation and ask it to be pure and broken down to the least common denominator.  Set a realistic goal based on that denominator.  Meet that goal.  Repeat.  See the amazing strength and beauty that comes from removing the filters and allowing the honesty of your core to rule your life. I believe a new respect and love will come from that choice, and it will be a giant step toward an unconditional core. 

If you have never checked out Anthony Robbins, the Amazon link embedded in this post is a cheap way to do so.  This DVD appears to be a "nutshell" version of his Personal Power series.  I had the opportunity to go through his Personal Power series a few years ago and can say I was changed forever by his words and the impact they had on me.  He is a genius and I can not recommend him enough.