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Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.
-- Kahlil Gibran
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
-- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic.
-- Rosalind Russell
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart.
-- Helen Keller
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.
-- Elizabeth Kubler Ross
Well, friends, I seem to be reaching some difficult moments in this experiment, as the reality of having to pull from my core surfaces. My husband and I made it to our wonderful church for the first time in a very long time. I had to show myself, having not looked into a mirror for 7 days, to people who had not seen me in months, and as it turns out, one person who had not seen me in more than 20 years. And you know what? It was wonderful. I hardly gave thought to how I looked and had a wonderful time reconnecting. I attribute this far more to the company I kept, rather than my own personal development, honestly. I knew I was surrounded by people who loved me unconditionally. That is an amazing gift - to be with those who give you that kind of grace... but, can you see that feeling ok with yourself because of how others feel about you is still outwardly based? I want to reiterate how wonderful it is to have those in your life who love you and tell you often. But, the focus on this blog is to find an inward place where that same love radiates outwardly from a place deep within - self love and acceptance - an unchanging, self sustaining core of unconditional self love.
I've spent a lot of time in the last few months thinking about my core beliefs/life goals. I think it is valuable to sit down and reflect occasionally on what you really believe and what you really want in life. For me, I realized something monumental in my convictions: Belief + Courage + Action = Self-sustained Core. A belief without the courage to take action on it is merely an idea. I also think that having all kinds of ideas floating around which I do not put into action slowly tears away at my self esteem through feelings of disrespect and dishonor. The flip side of that is recognizing the potential to use this as a way to sabbotage myself by setting myself up for failure: having unrealistic expectations for myself, not being able to meet them, then beating myself up for it, therefore confirming my own feelings about myself. It's a viscious cycle many of us find ourselves completing over and over again. If you want a little challange, and more than likely, a little breakthrough, take a little time to see if you do this same thing in your life, if even in subtle little ways.
I have been wondering how Mother Theresa, Helen Keller, and Ghandi viewed themselves lately. I am positive Helen Keller never used a mirror, but what about the other two? I am thinking not. If they did, it was probably to check for boogers - somehow, I even think they expected the people around them to be big enough to recognize a booger or piece of spinach in their teeth as something very human and normal. Maybe we should wipe our noses or brush our teeth but leave it at that. In other words, don't empower the damn things. Get over it. Get over the little boogers! Get over ourselves.
2 comments:
Chelle - I read your entire blog last night. I thought about it off an on as I went through my day today and couldn't wait to comment on this post. Your quote from Rosalind Russell made me smile "Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic" WHen I first moved to Leawood Kansas (8 yrs ago), I was struck by how many women dressed up for daily activities. You see, I pulled in to town wearing a t-shirt, shorts and Birkenstocks! I barely had time for a daily shower, let alone full make up and high heels. Yikes! I wore little make up then. No time or interest. I must confess, I am addicted to lipstick. I think that living in a big city (Chicago for 5 years) gave me the freedom to be who I wanted to be and feel comfortable with it. There were so many people with so many different looks and mostly, no one paid attention. It was great!! I could wear the same clothes 2 days in a row and no one noticed! It also doesn't hurt that I have a husband that tells me I'm beautiful even when my hair is smashed to the side of my head and I have pillow face.
Ok, back to the quote. Yes, there are women here that dress well, have great make up and hair etc, but the ones that stand out are the women that are comfortable in their own skin and are out enjoying life. They smile more and I try to remind myself of this on a regular basis.
Can't wait to read your next post
Cheryl - I hear you, although, when I lived in Chicago and other big cities, I was completely overwhlemed by self-consciousness because of how I compared myself to others. True, no one else cared what I looked like - they were too worried about how they looked. I have a sweet and loving husband, but not such a demonstrative or verbally encouraging husband. However, I feel the real issue is my beliefs about myself. When I was body building a few years ago and had body fat of 13%, I still struggled with the same issues of self acceptance and love and looked in the mirror far more, scrutinizing every bit. I don't think the issue will ever resolve with enough encouragement or physical improvement. It has to be tackled frm within. By the way, Cheryl, you just glow beauty and your eyes twinkle. I'd say you do well with the "woman's best cosmetic!"
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